also that whole tale of aragorn and arwen thing where he saw her in the woods at twenty and fell instantly in love and it’s very beren and luthien? lies.

aragorn decided he was going to marry arwen when he was like, six.

and everyone thought it was just the cutest thing, baby estel with his little crush on the great immortal evenstar, and everyone would tease him about it relentlessly and he would get so mad, and pout, because how dare they doubt his word.

(arwen spent a lot of time biting back smiles and nodding very seriously when aragorn brings this up with her. no, estel, I do not know why they are laughing perhaps they have remembered a particularly funny joke.)

and then aragorn grows into this gangly teen and oh my god can you imagine being a pimply greasy teenager around fucking elves it’s a wonder he has any self-image left. His voice breaks every other word and the laundresses are beginning to wonder if something is wrong with the sheets because estel keeps washing them himself and aragorn wants to die, god, arwen is never going to marry him if he stays all elbows and skinny knees and he can’t even look her in the eye anymore without blushing, eye contact is probably something to look for in a husband—

(arwen, who never had to go through puberty because elves don’t do anything so undignified, tries to comfort him by saying she likes his blemishes. aragorn gives her a look of such utter, miserable despair that she starts laughing.)

(this is a mistake. he spends the next three weeks nursing his wounded ego and refusing to see her.)

estel is twenty when he asks for her hand. he is lean, slender and fair as a new tree, and so arwen does not feel guilt in kissing his cheek and gently refusing. he is still green, he will weather greater storms than this—and he takes it as he should, clasping her hand and swearing to ever be her loyal friend.

they write to each other—when she is in lorien, when he wanders with the rangers of the north, fights alongside gondor, travels to distant lands. it is an inconstant tie—he is rarely afforded time enough to put pen to paper; she is reserved so as not to encourage what may not be. (she signs her letters always, your friend. She likes him too well to be cruel in this.)

the years pass. his weariness and strife creeps onto the page, and she sends him tokens to fend off the darkness—leaves from lothlorien, the ribbon from her hair, snippets of poems. it is not enough it is never enough I am sorry, she writes.

his reply is gentle: you are enough. do not stop writing.

(she carries that letter tucked inside her sleeve for a long while, like a talisman—though against what evil, she does not know.)

she is in the house of her grandmother when a familiar voice calls out to her: my lady luthien!

this is when arwen looks up, sees aragorn—broad of chest and rugged, still wearing his battered mail, with one hand balanced lazily on the pommel of his sword. All the trees of caras galadhon are gold but he is shadow and silver, kingliness resting lightly on his shoulders—

and arwen thinks, oh fuck






I think out of all the races in Mass Effect the Volus are my least favorite. I think there’s only one or two in the whole trilogy that isn’t whiny and cowardice. Does anyone actually like the Volus?


Someone talking shit about the volus?

Just by seeing a volus in person, you are seeing the opposite of a coward. You are seeing a bad ass motherfucker who risks their life to do business on the Citadel or Illium, etc. A quarian gets a suit puncture? That’s bad. But give them some anti-biotics and they’ll be okay in the end.

A volus gets a suit puncture? They die. End of story.

What a lot of people don’t understand is that volus aren’t a carbon based life form like every other species in the Mass Effect universe. These folk are ammonia based. They are completely unique. They can’t eat levo food, they can’t eat dextro food. Do you hear them complaining? Nope.

Can you tell me who was the third species to discover the Citadel after the asarai and the salarians? That would be the volus, my friend. They discovered the Citadel before the turians, the humans, the elcor, the batarians, etc, etc.

You know what the volus did when they got there? They said, ‘screw your banking system, we’re gonna design a better one.’ And they did! They authored the Unified Banking Act, basically standardizing the galaxies currency without sacrificing each world’s autonomy. You want to pay in Mexican pesos? Or some obscure vorcha currency? Thanks to the volus, you can.

These fuckers are smart. When the krogan rebellion came along, they knew they had absolutely no chance fighting them. So what did they do? They said, ‘Yo turians! Protect us and we’ll handle your economy.’ And an agreement was reached. Some people might think that’s weak? Me? I see a charging krogan and am able to get someone to stand in front of me, that’s savvy, not fear.

Fun volus fact. Did you know that the volus don’t use family names? They have no concept of a name like ‘Shepard’ or ‘Alenko’ because they believe that you can’t own a person. They believe so strongly in personal freedom that giving a surname to your child is like staking a claim on them.  

Some think the volus didn’t contribute enough to the Reaper War. Fuck that! They donated all the materials and ships that they had. Not to mention things that don’t seem important, like fabrication units. Guess who made all the custom plastic pieces needed for the Crucible? That would be the volus. Guess who reversed engineered all sort of tech to help with the Crucible. Again, the volus.

Are they bitter about their place on the Citadel? Fuck yeah they are, with good reason. This bad ass culture has been around since almost the beginning. They’ve stabilized the entire galaxy’s economy. Have you ever heard of there being a recession or a depression on the Citadel? You haven’t. Cause the volus are on top of that shit.

So even though they’ve been around for more than two thousand years, they still don’t have a place on the Council. They don’t even have their own embassy. And here come the humans, who haven’t contributed nearly as much, and they get their own private office!  But don’t worry. Now that the Reaper War is over, things are in flux and the volus will be there to make sure the economy doesn’t tank.

IN CONCLUSION: The volus are awesome and deserve your respect. 



muji spice book

Traveling with your spice rack is not ideal. This is why Japanese company, Muji, has made a book of spices to make flavoring your food while away from home a little bit easier.

This book from Muji is full of pages that are made of spiced paper, which dissolve from the heat and moisture of cooking. Now that kick of white pepper or red chili is just a tear away. And, since it is compact and perfectly portable, the Muji spice book is ideal for when you’re traveling!







Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck yooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuu

this is literally the shittiest article i have ever read

like, when an article includes the words “genital-ignorant casting” you know it’s a piece of trash.

Shakespeare was originally written with cross-dressing. There has always been an aspect of cross-dressing for actor, or character, or sometimes both in his plays. You don’t get to be mad when girls do it when you laud boys for doing it with Mark Rylance. Stop being butts!

I mean, Shakespeare IS all about the genitals, but not like THAT. Blrgh.Mark Lawson is a pill.

Calls for what Parrish might be:

I’m seeing pheonix or kasai (fire kitsune) an awful lot, and out of the two I’m inclined to say that kasai has more weight behind it, because Kira and Parrish have the same eye colour when their powers are flaring up. However, for the sake of argument, I’d like to throw some other possibilities into the ring:

Ifrit/Jinn: An Arabic spirit related to/made of fire (but also corporeal). Known to be quite intelligent and associated with riddles/puzzles, which could go with the bomb defusal. I know Parrish is not Arabic/Middle Eastern, but I don’t think the fandom theory that people can only be animals from their culture has much sway - Meredith wasn’t exactly Celtic, and the Kanima was supposedly from South America, which doesn’t match Jackson.

Cherufe: Chilean creature of magma/fire, either humanoid or snake-like depending on the source. I don’t think this is a likely option, partly because it’s not well known enough to attract attention, but also because they’re traditionally evil creatures that cause earthquakes and volcanic eruptions unless given human sacrifices.

Salamander: For me, this was my first thought after the car fire. Salamanders are lizard-like creatures, based on real creatures also called salamanders (which are really cool and you should totally check them out). Salamanders are consistently reported as being able to live in fire, and even as gaining sustenance from it. Their whole gig is fire, as compared to the phoenix to whom this is just one part.

Dragon: We all know the drill here.

Hellhound: Traditionally associated with fire, due to the whole Hell being on fire thing. Perhaps it’s a variety of werewolf?

Cyclops: Again, a bit of an outside shot, but they are heavily associated with smithing and forges, which are obviously full of fire.

So, all things considered, I’d put my money on Kasai because of the fire thing, but failing that, salamander.




So, here’s the story in Balamory: due to a shop not processing my payment for some weeks, and my landlord screwing me for a large amount of money, I’m now absolutely skint. Like, I have about £20 to my name, which has to last me until whenever my student loan arrives, which going by past experience may not be until sometime in October. Consequently, I’m offering to write whatever you like (within reason) for money. I’ll take whatever you’re willing and able to offer, but please, this is literally money I need to buy food and so forth! In order to commission, hop into my ask so we can discuss the details, and then donate via the donate button on my page. Thank you!

P.S. Unless you have a phobia of writing or something, please do commission something rather than just giving - I appreciate the sentiment, but I want to feel like I’m earning money.